I've done the unthinkable.
Oh, and I've also posted the last bit of Heat Tolerance on the Teaspoon. Here's a short teaser while you wait for it to clear the mods...
“No no no,” the Doctor denied, rubbing his face with his palms and then sliding his hands up into his hair, mussing it in a familiar gesture of irritation. “Are you even listening to me? I can’t.”
“Can’t, or won’t?” Jack pressed. “What are you so afraid of?”
The Doctor’s only response was an inarticulate noise, full of frustration and a hint of disgust. He pushed off from the sofa, standing in preparation to beat a hasty retreat from Jack and his difficult questions.
But Jack had decided that enough was enough. His hand darted forward, catching the Doctor’s sleeve and tugging him backwards.
But... back to the important thing. I've done the unthinkable.I've written porn.
Not sweet/hot/cute/crack/OT3 porn, which I would not be nearly as much embarassed about.
I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I spend way too much time on dw_slash and the things that happen there regularly eat my brain. This time I was weak and I gave in and started typing.
I wrote snowgrouse-manip-inspired Master/Doctor Life-on-Mars-ogodpoorsam-crossover noncon-bondage-mindfuck porn. I've never even seen Life on Mars.
And that's not the embarassing part.
It's not even good porn. I know it's bad, because I let it sit for a couple of days and read it again. It's... bad.
And now I'm thinking about trying to fix what even I could tell was bad about it. And then letting it sit for a few more days to see if it's still bad. Rinsing and repeating until it no longer makes me cringe. And then pleading the other denizens of dw_slash for a porn beta willing to be ruthless. And then fixing it some more. And then actually posting it.
Because, oh Rassilon's Rubbers (take that to mean what you will, but at least it's alliterative), it's bad. And it offends my sensibilities, and I want it to stop being bad so I won't feel like I'm a cheap, bad porn writer.
::wanders off, muttering::