?

Log in

No account? Create an account

previous entry | next entry

FIC: The Twist, Timestamped

At robling_t 's request, The Twist has been extended with two timestamps: one half an hour before and one half an hour after the original fic.

I couldn't resist doing both. The first is a little dialogue drabble that sets the tone, and the second is a straight sequel to the original. The original should definitely be read first, even though that isn't proper chronological order for the events of the story.


"Doctor, would you please stop doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"That! Going so close to the edge like that!"
"How else am I suppose to see what's down there?"
"Well, could you do it a little more carefully? Or are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"Why would I try to do that? Not that it would be very permanent, in your case, anyway."
"Just... please... a little more caution. I like this you. I'd rather you didn't regenerate today."
"What, does that seem like something I'm likely to do on a whim?"
"Just... be careful."
"I'm always careful!"


... and... 


He'd fallen.
He'd seen the Doctor trip, had lunged desperately to catch him, and had then overbalanced and fallen. In the blink of an eye he was over the edge and plunging downwards, leaving the Doctor behind to look down at him helplessly from atop the cliff.
The actual fall had not been too unpleasant. The sudden stop at the bottom had been somewhat more traumatic.
Jack woke with a strangled gasp and the familiar feeling of having just been reanimated after having died messily.
His first coherent thought was no more than a primitive instinctual reaction of creeping horror.
But he was used to it. He quickly settled, caught his breath, and sat up, looking around for the Doctor.
The Time Lord sat against the base of the nearby cliff, looking as dusty as the dirt around him. He was staring blankly at the ground, and seemed not to notice that Jack had woken.
Jack pulled himself to his feet, groaning as his abused body protested the motion, and made his way over to his friend.
Dropping down beside him, he resisted the urge to hurl accusations of, “I told you so!”
Instead, he queried gently, “Doctor?”
The Doctor looked over at him, seeming to register his presence for the first time. His eyes roamed over the newly revived immortal as if checking for lingering damage.
“I’m fine,” Jack reminded him.
The Doctor looked up at his face again.
“I know,” he said, sounding small. His earlier bravado was gone.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked.
“I am,” the Doctor replied. “Thank you.”
They were silent for a moment, looking anywhere but at each other.
“No, really,” the Doctor said then. “Thank you. You saved my life, Jack.”
“You’re welcome,” Jack replied. “All in a day’s work.”
“Don’t do that,” the Doctor snapped.
“What?” Jack asked, confused.
“Act like it’s nothing,” the Doctor answered.
Jack looked at him, surprised to hear him actually acknowledge such feelings. The Doctor seemed to note his surprise, and a guilty look crossed the Time Lord's face.
Abruptly, the Doctor reached over and wrapped Jack in a hug, mumbling into his shoulder, “I’m sorry.”
Jack wrapped his own arms around the Doctor in return and asked, “What for?”
“Taking you for granted,” the Doctor answered.
There was another moment of silence as they held each other.
“Thank you,” Jack said finally, his voice choked with emotion.
"Sorry," the Doctor said again. "I'm just... so sorry, in general. For being an idiot up on the cliff, for having always been the kind of idiot whose friends are surprised when he shows a little gratitude and acknowledgement. The kind of idiot who never grabs hold of a good thing when it's staring him in the face. You never know when you're going to tumble to your death, after all."
Jack wasn't sure how to respond, so he just tightened his arms around the Doctor and waited.
Eventually, the Doctor pulled away. He cleared his throat, glancing at Jack.
Jack watched him with concern, still worried by his uncharacteristic behavior.
The Doctor seemed to gather his courage, summoning his brightest smile.
“Jack, would you like to dance?"

Comments

( 14 comments — leave a comment )
wendymr
Apr. 16th, 2008 03:59 am (UTC)
Ooh, perfect! The prequel makes a lot more sense of the original ficlet, and the sequel is poignant and heartfelt. I love that the Doctor realises that he takes Jack for granted, and that he's scared/upset at Jack dying - presumably painfully - for him.

And how beautifully, hilariously suggestive:

The Doctor seemed to gather his courage, summoning his brightest smile.

“Jack, would you like to dance?"


You know, of course, that I'm now going to request the story of them dancing. ;)
adaliafic
Apr. 17th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
You and your continuation requests... :-P

I've always imagined Ten having an epiphany at some point that he hates seeing Jack hurt and really, really doesn't ever want to see him die even though he knows it would be temporary. It was nice to write it happening.

Thanks for commenting! :-)
robling_t
Apr. 16th, 2008 04:24 am (UTC)
*does a few tiggerbounces around room before dissolving into a pile of squee* ;)
adaliafic
Apr. 17th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
::pokes the robling_t-shaped pile of squee::

You okay, there?

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! Thanks for commenting. :-)
slvrcrystalc
Apr. 16th, 2008 04:25 am (UTC)
Emotional-Doctor! Wonderful. I squee at you.
adaliafic
Apr. 17th, 2008 08:53 pm (UTC)
Yay for squee! I'm glad you liked Emotional-Doctor and his realizations about how he feels about Jack.

Thanks for commenting! :-)
foalen
Apr. 16th, 2008 02:33 pm (UTC)
I loved these! It's wonderful when the Doctor actually gets honest once in a while and lets Jack see his real feelings. Brilliantly done.
adaliafic
Apr. 17th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
It's wonderful when the Doctor actually gets honest once in a while and lets Jack see his real feelings.

Exactly! I can't imagine watching somebody die for you (even if they will come right back) and not having it shift your perception just a little. So I just had to write Ten finally actually letting Jack know that he cared.

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for commenting! :-)
nightrider101
Apr. 16th, 2008 10:31 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! The original story makes a lot more sense after reading the first part. The Doctor can be an idiot sometimes, can't he?

"Sorry," the Doctor said again. "I'm just... so sorry, in general. For being an idiot up on the cliff, for having always been the kind of idiot whose friends are surprised when he shows a little gratitude and acknowledgement. The kind of idiot who never grabs hold of a good thing when it's staring him in the face. You never know when you're going to tumble to your death, after all."

Awww! I loved that whole speech!

So do we get to see the dancing? Yes, we're shameless. LOL You write us extra fic and leave us all begging for more!
adaliafic
Apr. 17th, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
The original is such a strange little fic, isn't it? It was fun to write what was going on around it.

I do seem to have this odd habit of writing continuations that just push things a teeny bit closer to resolution and never quite get there. ::evil grin::

Thanks for commenting! :-)
tkurogrym
Apr. 22nd, 2008 11:42 pm (UTC)
*loves* The continuation is a sweet, serious, and ultimately charmingly funny end for the original. Loved this little moment of Ten dealing with just how easy it is to take someone like Jack (especially immortal!Jack) for granted in that reckless, careless way he has. A lesson for us all, I suppose.

Oh yes, and as for the dancing. When you do decide to commit pr0n, this is worth coming back to! ;)

And finally, while I'm here -- thanks for all of the responses to my reviews over at Teaspoon. It's wonderful to have that level of interaction from an author, especially one who clearly shares many of the same tastes. Figured I'd say it here, since there's no "comment back" option on the 'Spoon. :D
adaliafic
Apr. 24th, 2008 02:27 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it and, of course, thanks for commenting! :-)

How could I not respond to all your lovely reviews on the 'Spoon? It's been so much fun to watch my inbox each day to see which stories you've read next.

BTW, somewhere in the past couple of days, you posted the 500th review on my Teaspoon account. ::celebrates the milestone:: :-D
tkurogrym
Apr. 26th, 2008 04:46 am (UTC)
*cheers!* Yay! Glad to have helped you over a milestone. *sends you some s'mores in celebration* :D
adaliafic
Apr. 28th, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
::munches happily on s'mores::

Much thanks from this humble chocolate addict. :-D

Edited at 2008-04-28 08:18 pm (UTC)
( 14 comments — leave a comment )

Profile

adaliafic
Adalia Zandra

greetings

This is adaliazandra's fic journal, which she hadn't planned to use very often. That plan has since been defenestrated in favor of posting fic update notices and rambles about DW and TW.

If you note the spiffy paid-account layout, that's because nightrider101 is simply the most wonderful person ever! :-)

If I seem to have disappeared off the face of the Internet, it's because I probably did. I don't actually *like* suddenly ignoring my LJ friends and leaving my stories hanging, though, so odds are I'll be back eventually.