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I've done the unthinkable.

Oh, and I've also posted the last bit of Heat Tolerance on the Teaspoon. Here's a short teaser while you wait for it to clear the mods...

“No no no,” the Doctor denied, rubbing his face with his palms and then sliding his hands up into his hair, mussing it in a familiar gesture of irritation. “Are you even listening to me? I can’t.”

“Can’t, or won’t?” Jack pressed. “What are you so afraid of?”

The Doctor’s only response was an inarticulate noise, full of frustration and a hint of disgust. He pushed off from the sofa, standing in preparation to beat a hasty retreat from Jack and his difficult questions.

But Jack had decided that enough was enough. His hand darted forward, catching the Doctor’s sleeve and tugging him backwards.

 

But... back to the important thing. I've done the unthinkable.

I've written porn.

Not sweet/hot/cute/crack/OT3 porn, which I would not be nearly as much embarassed about.

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I spend way too much time on dw_slash and the things that happen there regularly eat my brain. This time I was weak and I gave in and started typing.

That's right.

I wrote snowgrouse-manip-inspired Master/Doctor Life-on-Mars-ogodpoorsam-crossover noncon-bondage-mindfuck porn. I've never even seen Life on Mars.

And that's not the embarassing part.

It's not even good porn. I know it's bad, because I let it sit for a couple of days and read it again. It's... bad.

And now I'm thinking about trying to fix what even I could tell was bad about it. And then letting it sit for a few more days to see if it's still bad. Rinsing and repeating until it no longer makes me cringe. And then pleading the other denizens of dw_slash for a porn beta willing to be ruthless. And then fixing it some more. And then actually posting it.

Because, oh Rassilon's Rubbers (take that to mean what you will, but at least it's alliterative), it's bad. And it offends my sensibilities, and I want it to stop being bad so I won't feel like I'm a cheap, bad porn writer.

So... yeah.

::wanders off, muttering:: 

Comments

( 32 comments — leave a comment )
order_of_chaos
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
Read Heat Tolerance over on Teaspoon. Loved it. Jack makes the sweetest mattress ever.

And I haven't watched Life on Mars either, but I saw that manip, and the more porn (bad or otherwise, as long as I get to read it) that it inspires the better.
adaliazandra
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:06 pm (UTC)
I kinda wish I had my own Jack-mattress, actually. :-)

The porn actually came from your comment, I think. ::scratches head:: Does that make this all your fault? :-P
order_of_chaos
Jan. 23rd, 2008 08:48 am (UTC)
Well, at least partly my fault. Eep. *blushes* I very much want to see what you've some up with :-P
*grins* Personally, I blame snowgrouse - I have porn in my brain with holes in it, and K9 in the holes (but not, thankfully, in the porn) saying "Insufficient data, Mistress. Suggest watching Life on Mars at the earliest opportunity."
(no subject) - adaliazandra - Jan. 24th, 2008 07:18 am (UTC) - Expand
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bulky_monster
Jan. 22nd, 2008 12:53 pm (UTC)
I saw this episode of Farscape that made me think I'll be writing my very first "aliens made us do it/shag or die" fic. The name of the episode was called Coup by Clam. So don't feel bad ;)


Off to go read the next bit of HT!
adaliazandra
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:09 pm (UTC)
I <3 Farscape, and am not surprised that it inspired porn. I watched most of it when it first aired on Skiffy and then later a friend of mine turned out to be an utterly obsessed fanboy and made me watch several of the eps on DVD. Not that I'm really complaining.

Last bit of HT, you mean. I'm honestly glad to see the back of that fic, after what feels like ages of wondering when I'd get to finish it. Now I get to start posting my post-VotD fic... I'm looking forward to that one. :-)
bulky_monster
Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:42 pm (UTC)
Our little family - meaning my boyfriend, my roommate and I, not t'other family - loves Farscape. We've collectively purchased all of it on DVD and have been watching it from beginning to end since October or so. On season 4 currently. And yeah, it's pretty much all about sex and other bodily functions - in space.

I'm looking forward to your post-VotD fic too! But I really, REALLY hated the episode...
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nightrider101
Jan. 22nd, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
YAY for porn! LOL Doctor/Master hasn't been top on my ship list, but it's becoming more of a guilty pleasure. ;) I can't wait to see what you've written! And if you need a ruthless porn beta, feel free to look me up! I'm actually a very experienced porn slash writer. Don't ask.
adaliazandra
Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
Master/Doctor is just... so canon. And necessary. And... yeah.

I'll let you know when this monstrosity is ready for betaing. Right now it's... well, really bad. :-)
nightrider101
Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:26 pm (UTC)
Yeah. Hee! :D

I doubt anything you write could ever be really bad, but we'll go with it for now. Like I said, just let me know when it's ready!
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wendymr
Jan. 23rd, 2008 01:30 am (UTC)
Ooh, so good to hear you're writing porny slash. Now all we need is for you to transfer that to Jack/Doctor and I'll be happy ;) (Being serious for a moment, Doctor/Master's just not my thing because just about all of it - other than a certain cracky pic-fic *grin* - is terrifyingly sado-masochistic, which leaves me feeling nauseous rather than turned-on).

But, yeah. Good to see you dragged to the Dark Side!
adaliazandra
Jan. 23rd, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
If I can get past this block I've always had about writing smut/porn/whatever, I'll probably wind up writing more graphic OT3 or Jack/Doctor stuff, also of the more generally appealing type. We'll have to see how it goes.

I never thought I would ever write anything even remotely graphic that wasn't also total crack... but here I am. I freely confess that I'm one of those strange ones who can't look away from those frightening Master/Doctor fics, though. I've never been quite sure why... but that could easily lead into a long and interesting conversation about the psychology of turn-ons and turn-offs, which, at this stage in tonight's meandering trip through LJ towards blissful unconsciousness, would probably just turn into a mini-dissertation about the Sims. God forbid.

Hmmm... yeah. Definitely way past my bed time. G'night. :-)
infraredphaeton
Apr. 12th, 2008 12:24 pm (UTC)
this is an old convo,, but I just thought of a pun.
would probably just turn into a mini-dissertation about the Sims


....OR do you mean Simms?
*snickers*

...ok, I'm leaving now.
(no subject) - adaliafic - Apr. 17th, 2008 06:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Apr. 29th, 2008 09:35 am (UTC)
Well, I'm sorry, I haven't read the porn ;-) but I wanted to comment on "Heat Tolerence" and this seems as good (if not better!) a place as any.

First of all, I really enjoyed it. I don't mind lots of hurt when there are even more lots of comfort involved, so this stoyr was a winner for me...

(Anonymous)
Apr. 29th, 2008 09:54 am (UTC)
I'm the anonymous reviewer who posted the message just above, but as usual with me, I pressed the wrong buttom at the wrong time...:-o

Well, back on track!

I loved the notion that Martha and Jack are there for the Doctor. I didn't like Martha's comment to the Doctor in "42" when she said they hadn't needed him. He looked so lost at the moment that it came out as rather careless of her - even though she probably didn't mean it that way. So I liked that your story sort of allowed her to make up for that.

As for your Jack, he's a delight.

The nightmares scenes are so well written, very powerful. The moment when the Doctor called out was Rose was moving, yes, but I was even more moved when he called Romana...somehow she's like a symbol of his life before all went wrong, so this mention of her at such an emotional time was spot on!

It's always interesting when an author manages to put the Doctor into a vulnerable situation while keeping him in character, and you're very good at it, IMHO.

The Doctor drifting off to sleep anywhere just like a cat was also a very nice touch. Poor dear, he sounds like he's in dire need of a nice warm cuppa at that point! Perfect served with Jack cuddles :-)
The whole cuddling with Jack was very believable, by the way. Like in "Sense" it feels like the characters really love and care for each other.

Thanks for another lovely story :-)

Valentina
adaliafic
May. 20th, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
"...but I was even more moved when he called Romana...somehow she's like a symbol of his life before all went wrong..."

That's exactly how I think of it. If she was there at the end of the War with him, she's linked in his memories both to the War and to their travels together. So she symbolizes both life "before" and the transition to life "after".

"It's always interesting when an author manages to put the Doctor into a vulnerable situation while keeping him in character, and you're very good at it, IMHO."

That's pretty much exactly what I'm trying to do in most of my fics, so it makes me very happy to hear that you like the results. Thank you again for reading and leaving such wonderful reviews! :-)
( 32 comments — leave a comment )

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adaliafic
Adalia Zandra

greetings

This is adaliazandra's fic journal, which she hadn't planned to use very often. That plan has since been defenestrated in favor of posting fic update notices and rambles about DW and TW.

If you note the spiffy paid-account layout, that's because nightrider101 is simply the most wonderful person ever! :-)

If I seem to have disappeared off the face of the Internet, it's because I probably did. I don't actually *like* suddenly ignoring my LJ friends and leaving my stories hanging, though, so odds are I'll be back eventually.